Nobody’s Business

American Kennel Club, Inc.

Special Meeting of the Board of Directors

AKC Offices at 101 Park Avenue, New York, NY

April 1, 2022

The Board convened in person on Friday, April 1, 2022, at 8:00 a.m. Eastern Time.

Mr. Sprung, the Executive Secretary and all Directors were present.

EXECUTIVE SESSION

There was an EXECUTIVE SESSION to discuss sensitive business matters. It was reported that because the Delegates voted to amend the Bylaws to provide that when the slate of candidates put forward by the Nominating Committee appointed by the Board is unchallenged by any other candidates who step up to run by petition that slate is deemed “elected” without the necessity of holding an election at the Annual Meeting, Staff will immediately put forward a Bylaws Amendment designating the current Board as “Directors in Perpetuity,” obviating the need for “costly” elections going forward.

EXECUTIVE SESSION

There was an EXECUTIVE SESSION to discuss sensitive business matters. It was reported that Chairman Davies was unanimously elected “Chairman Forever,” because when life hands you lemons, that which does not kill you is like a box of chocolates.

EXECUTIVE SESSION

There was an EXECUTIVE SESSION to discuss sensitive business matters. It was reported that the Executive Officers were elected to the following positions:

Dennis B. Sprung – President and Chief Executive Officer

Gina M. DiNardo – Executive Secretary

Theodore E. Phillips – Chief Financial Officer

Staff will immediately put forward a Bylaws Amendment proposing to designate the current Executive Officers as “Executive Officers for Life.” 

EXECUTIVE SESSION

There was an EXECUTIVE SESSION to discuss sensitive business matters. It was reported that, in order to retain certain executives who might threaten to “pursue other opportunities,” the President is authorized to offer said person a promotion to some made-up executive title and exorbitant salary and bonus compensation.

EXECUTIVE SESSION

There was an EXECUTIVE SESSION to discuss sensitive business matters. It was reported that, because AKC “set a record” for revenues in 2022, AKC’s executive salary and bonus compensation will “set a record.”

EXECUTIVE SESSION

There was an EXECUTIVE SESSION to discuss sensitive business matters. It was reported that Doodles will be accepted into the Stud Book and immediately be eligible to compete in all groups. Recognition of a Parent Club is tabled, pending resolution of a dispute among the Sheepadoodle, Labradoodle, Goldendoodle and Bernadoodle factions regarding whether they will operate separately or come together under one united Doodle umbrella. 

EXECUTIVE SESSION

There was an EXECUTIVE SESSION to discuss sensitive business matters. It was reported that the Museum of the Dog will be closed, and the space converted into the flagship Dog Dollar Tree, an exclusive seller of AKC-branded, dog-related, made-in-China merchandise. One floor will be dedicated to promotion of all things Doodle, and Staff projects that the location will “set a record” for revenues. It was also announced that ESPN will broadcast College Game Day live from Dog Dollar Tree on Black Friday 2022.

EXECUTIVE SESSION

There was an EXECUTIVE SESSION to discuss sensitive business matters. It was reported that there will be no Delegates’ Meeting in June, because, despite what they think, why the hell bother, what do they do, anyway?

EXECUTIVE SESSION

There was an EXECUTIVE SESSION to discuss sensitive business matters. It was reported … actually, no, nothing was reported out of this session.

EXECUTIVE SESSION

There was an EXECUTIVE SESSION to discuss sensitive business matters. We’re not gonna tell you what we talked about or what we did. Figure it out.

EXECUTIVE SESSION

There was an EXECUTIVE SESSION to discuss sensitive business matters. Nope, still not talking.

EXECUTIVE SESSION

There was an EXECUTIVE SESSION to discuss sensitive business matters. Time for dinner!

It was voted to ADJOURN, April 1, at 5:00 p.m.

Adjourned.

Attest:

____________________________________________

Gina M. DiNardo, Executive Secretary

HAPPY APRIL FOOL’S DAY!